How to Slay in Your Lane

Anyone who knows me knows that I love Beyonce. So when Formation comes on, you better believe I’m gonna bust out into the full choreo on sight. Most of y’all know one of the recurring lines of the song is “cause I slay.” Long before that song, “slay” had become the upmost form of a compliment. Overused? Yes. Used incorrectly? Absolutely. Nonetheless, it is a word that denotes success, empowerment, and desirability.

So while reflecting this week I came to wonder…why does everybody have to slay in the same way? There seems to be this mindset that if someone isn’t conforming to your own preconceived notion of beauty, style, behavior, or “success” then they’re not worth anything. To me, this has bred a culture of unoriginality- one that lacks authenticity and promotes negativity.

So often I hear women denouncing and devaluing women who simply choose to prioritize different things or look a different way. So much so, that I’ve found myself trying to appease the naysayers. However, constantly trying to mold into this unnatural version of myself has left me unfulfilled. I’ve found that all of the little idiosyncrasies that I’ve tried to stifle are actually my redeeming qualities. And it’s liberating. No longer am I aspiring to be a carbon copy of someone else. Women like Tracee Ellis Ross are a reminder that our quirks are what make us appealing. So to the women who feel inadequate in a world that often promotes compliance- guess what?

Whether you want to beat your face or wear minimal makeup, dress up or dress down, be the center of attention or play a role behind the scenes, and be classy or be goofy – all of these things are valuable. Formulate the best version of yourself. Be distinctive. Keep pushing and grinding while maintaining your individuality. What others may call weird…I call innovative.

We can all slay in our own lanes.

yinka

Have any of y’all ever felt pressured to meet unrealistic standards? #ShareYourStance

XOXO

-Adeyinka

“It was when I realized I needed to stop trying to be somebody else and be myself, I actually started to own, accept, and love what I had.”

-Tracee Ellis Ross

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On Speaking Up & Speaking Out…Why it Matters

Undecided. That’s where I always found myself during deep conversations or discussions about controversial issues. I’d like to think of myself as a very impartial person. When I listen to people debate, it’s very easy for me to understand both sides of the argument. However, this always left me in a boat of uncertainty. Uncertain what I stood for, what I wanted, or what I did not want. I found myself not speaking up in small situations and soon came to realize my neutrality wasn’t due to uncertainty, it was a product of fear.

I was afraid my opinions would lead to a confrontation. I was afraid to go against the grain and stand out. I was afraid of seeming too outspoken, opinionated, or aggressive. I was afraid of being less likeable– which is crazy to me now.

What makes most of the people that I admire likeable are their opinions. Women like Oprah, Michelle Obama, and Malala Yousafzai have unwavering confidence in expressing their opinions and demanding to be heard. There’s something so remarkable about the sparkle in their eyes when they speak on their passions. They are able to use their platforms to promote growth and change, because they stand for something. So how can I make a difference if I am afraid to speak up and speak out? That’s easy, I can’t. Becoming more outspoken is inevitable. So this year I’ve vowed to be unapologetic. (one of my fave RiRi albums btw). And if that makes some people uncomfortable…well they can stay mad.

*flips hair*

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I’m dedicated to Living Fearlessly and I plan on using my platform to speak out on things that are most important to me. Whether it’s healthy living, politics, or a rare disease I challenge you all to do your research, present your ideas, and let your voice be heard!

Hashtag your posts #ShareYourStance. I sure will. 

xoxo

-Adeyinka

“Feel the fear and do it anyway.”

-Susan Jeffers